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Queen's Hat Fails Colour Test

Photo: Note - hat colour removed re publication ban

(SNN) - The opening of Royal Ascot brought out the Queen in her horse drawn carriage this last week.  The betting on her hat color was fierce, with purple taking 10 to 1 odds and burnt orange a long shot at 50 to 1. 

When the Queen emerged from her carriage, those betting on purple jumped for joy.  However, when approached by the Royal Ascot reporter who asked about why she chose purple again this year, the Queen retorted, “My hat is not purple, it's lavender.” 

The book makers took note and informed all holders of purple they would not be winners.  Only those lucky few who bet on lavender at 18 to 1 odds were winners.  An angry queue soon formed at the book makers with purple bettors insisting lavender was simply a shade of purple.  The lavender bettors pointed out that even wedding planners know the difference between purple and lavender.   

Violet bettors arrived insisting they were the violated ones.  A scuffle ensued and the police appeared on the scene.  Purple, lavender and violet were booked for disrupting the peace and royal racing.  One purple was booked for violet assault when he ripped the very large floppy lavender hat off Lady Violet DeLille, a friend of the Queen. 

His Lordship Sir Paul Violet-Lavender expressed outrage at the incident.  He remarked, “Such violence over a simple color disagreement is ridiculous.  It’s an embarrassment to this proceeding.  I don’t see the reason, but then again I’m color blind.”  

Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Michael Gwyther-Jones flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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