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Here are some of the Headlines The Sage is working on.


Women at NSA Use Domestic Spy Program To See If There Are Any Men Out There Worth Having Relationships With

(SNN) - The outraged men on the Senate committee, investigating the incident, demand they get long prison sentences. The women on the committee demand the findings be made public.


Film Based on Philip Seymour Hoffman’s Life Cancelled

(SNN) - “It was obvious that we’re just not going to find an actor good enough to play him,” said the ill-fated project’s publicist, just four days after the project was announced.


“Economic Recovery Directly Linked to Legalizing Gay Marriage”

(SNN) - Said Janet Yellen, the new head of the Fed, before the House Economic Committee. “Every time a state legalizes it, hundreds of thousands of marriages take place, including those of gays pouring in from the surrounding states. And since they spend three to five times what straight couples spend on their marriages, the massive stimulus turns the whole state’s economy around.”


Koch Brothers Launch Negative Ad Campaign to Sabotage Hillary’s Chances of Running in 2016

(SNN) - “Will spend $250 mil this year alone,” an insider told SNN reporter. And this is despite the fact that she’s repeatedly said that it’s way to early to even think about running for president.


George Zimmerman, of Trey von Martin Fame, Becomes Panelist on Fox News

(SNN) - “Few epitomize American values, like George does,” says their TV promo.


Ed Toolis’ website

 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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