(SNN) - It took some time but I have finally figured out why Zombie movies are such a hit right now. The demographic timing was perfect.
Why? Baby boomers can relate to Zombies in a big way. Once establishment rebels (the boomers,) they have morphed to Zombie sympathizers. Put another way: is anybody else out there finding that their body is starting to fall apart?
I don’t mean a total, massive, one size fits all body breakdown. No, I mean a slow, gradual, one item at a time falling apart.
Some bits fall off (like your hair.) Other bits simply refuse to work properly anymore (like XX). You look in the mirror, and you don’t like what you see (if you can see it at all.) At the rate I am going, they are going to have to collect parts to put in the ole pine box.
As near as I can tell, it starts the day after you turn 50. (Okay, you 40 year olds may *think* you’re falling apart, but you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.)
Somewhere along the way, you go from Rebel to Rubble.
What really bothers me is the way that we can’t stop talking about it. Sports one-upmanship has taken on an entirely new meaning. It used to be we all bragged about our physical prowess. Now we can’t stop talking about our physical injuries.
Are you on the verge of joining the Rubble family? Take this short quiz to find out:
Signs of Rubble:
When you start all conversations with “How are you feeling today?” instead of, “What are you doing Saturday night?”
When the neat red sports car you always wanted is too far down to get into. (Alternatively, you can’t get out of it without putting both hands on the ground and rolling.)
When you can’t see your toes without your glasses on.
When you can’t see your toes *with* your glasses on.
When you wake up in the morning feeling absolutely awful, and you haven’t been drinking.
When the toilet seems an awfully long way down.
And here it is, the finale, wait for it:
When you actually WANT to hear about other people’s operations.
Melodie Campbell’s hilarious bestselling Land’s End Trilogy is on sale for a ridiculous 99 cents! Grab it now, to find out why reviewers have called this “OUTLANDER meets Sex and the City.”
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