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Andrew Ference and eight other Edmonton Oilers officially cross the floor to the Calgary Flames

(SNN) - In a move that will reduce Alberta’s least effective hockey team in decades to a rural rump, nine Edmonton Oilers players — including captain Andrew Ference — announced Wednesday that they would defect to the superior Calgary Flames.

After almost three days of speculation, rumours and outrage, Ference and the Coach of the Calgary Flames, Bob Hartley, emerged to deliver a joint press conference in Edmonton, each wearing matching Calgary Flames Jerseys.

“Today we stand together ready to move on from past partisan rivalries and lead the NHL with renewed focus and a strong sense of purpose,” said Ference, acknowledging it was a historic day in Canadian hockey.

It sure the hell was.

Never before has an opposing team defected en masse to bolster the ranks of an already swollen rival hockey club. That the move appears to have been spearheaded by Andrew Ference and one of his top players, Taylor Hall, which makes the decision all the more astonishing, and the sense of betrayal even more acute.

The move reduces the Edmonton Oilers only to five players, including one goal tender and a mascot, a stunning slide for a team that has won five Stanley Cups, an achievement that Manager Kevin Lowe continually reminds the fans about.

But the Edmonton Oilers have suffered a steady decline since they took to the ice at the beginning of the season. Eleven losses in a row, one win, a fired coach, and more losses, have left the Oilers impotent.

Image: Some Rights Reserved slidingsideways by flickr photostream, The Sage nor thus article endorsed. The original image can be found here.
Credit: Parody of a National Post story. "Danielle Smith and eight other Wildrose MLAs officially cross the floor to the Alberta Progressive Conservatives" by Jen Gerson.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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