(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed.
Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington Farthington III) had been duped. When that slut poodle next door, she with the off shoulder pet collar, gave that phony come hither fake bark, he'd scoot through the doggie door to his siren's tease.
When he returned, he always had tobacco breath and slumped as he crawled under the sofa, the guilt obvious in his downcast bloodshot eyes. He could not have learned that from us as we stopped doing that months before we rescued him.
I'd been emotionally wounded after he ran off with her as he never contacted us again, not even a text on my birthday. Now, I forgive him and apologize for being judgmental as I realize that it's obvious she snuck the drug Ecstasy in to his water bowl.
DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.