(SNN) A recent leak of top-secret White House documents reveals American Presidents have been in communication with Extraterrestrials from more than one galaxy beginning with the Kennedy Administration.
Only short excerpts of a few conversations are available, with more, possibly, to come. In another shocking development, the transcripts indicate one former President may have been of extraterrestrial origin himself.
Partial Transcript of conversation between President John F Kennedy and ET during first recorded “Welcome to Earth” ceremony:
JFK: On behalf of the First Lady, Vice President Lyndon Johnson, and popular funnyman Jackie Mason, we’d like to, ah, welcome you to our planet.
ET: Mr. President. As a gift, I have brought you The Blagdorf from the Wells of McKinnon.
JFK: Thank you. May I enquire what lies inside this container? The secrets of the Universe? Confirmation of a Deity? Plans for your spacecraft?
Jackie Mason: See if there’s bagels. I’m famished.
ET: Actually, The Blagdorf is an 18-year-old scotch from the Wells of McKinnon Distillery in Scotland. I picked up a bottle on the way here.
Mason: Would it have killed you to get bagels?
Partial Transcript of conversation between Richard Nixon and ETs:
Nixon: I tried, Commander Zeelflabt. Now get me off this dump.
Zabfleet: You idiot! Who breaks into his enemy headquarters when a landslide is already assured?
Nixon: I was told there were recipes there. I am not a cook.
Zabfleet: You had one job. Take over the US. But no, you put a wiretap in your own office! Good thing we erased your 18 1/2-minute talk with Imperial Leader Skrygrorf.
Nixon: Earthlings hate me.
ET: Everyone hates you. But don’t worry. Soon they won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.
Partial Transcript from conversation between Bill Clinton and ET:
Clinton: You wanted to see me?
ET: Mr. President, we are returning home, and I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to return Miss Plaedies to us before we leave.
Partial Transcript from conversation between George W. Bush and ET:
BUSH: Did I git any of that on you?
Partial Transcript from conversation between Hillary R. Clinton and Extraterrestrial:
Hillary Rodham Clinton: I can’t thank you enough for creating those lifelike robots to run against me. They are perfect foils, just venal and dumb enough to be convincing.
ET: You are welcome…
HRC: So you guys can head home, now. I’ll take it from here.
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