(SNN) - We know now where North Korea’s Grand Poobah, Kim Jong Un, was lurking for the six weeks he went missing last year.
The Pyongyang Doughboy was holed up in his Glorious Leader Writer’s Retreat, penning North Korea's new hot memes. Or as The Independent of London put it, more than three hundred “hyperbolic, vegetable-themed new slogans aimed at citizens of the hermit kingdom.”
Half of the 16 encouragement slogans below are from that batch. The others, I just made up or borrowed. See if you can tell the difference between Glorious Leader and Inglorious Cork. (Answers at the end.)
- Let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country!
- Produce larger quantities of high-quality consumer goods, which are favored by the people and have competitive edge on the world market!
- Let us turn ours into a country of mushrooms!
- May the glorious effort of sewage workers waft across our country and flavor our crops!
- By milking his cow with alacrity, the farmer enables others to churn the butter and cut the cheese!
- Let us brilliantly inherit and develop the glorious revolutionary traditions of our Party!
- Let no one snicker at the pop-up hats and high heels worn by our military as they lead us into furious battle with taller enemies!
- Let the large-scale chemical factories make an active contribution to ensuring domestic production of raw materials for light industry and building materials!
- Remember to feed the post so Comrade Rodman may hit the cutter or dish back outside for a trey!
- Resolutely thwart the sanction schemes of the imperialists by effecting a great upswing in light industry!
- Let us keep our haircuts close cropped and side-walled the way Glorious Leader rocks!
- Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!
- Does my ass look fat in these pants?
- Should the enemy dare to invade our country, annihilate them to the last man so that none of them will survive to sign the instrument of surrender!
- We Report, you decide.
- Find pleasure in twine because Glorious Leader wishes to string you along. We’re here all week. Try the Veal.
(Answers: 1,2,3, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14—North Korean Slogans)
Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by teakwood flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be located here.
DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.