FCC Considering Fine for Butt-Dialing 911 Calls
(SNN) - “This is not a laughing matter,” the FCC commissioner yelled at reporters at a press conference.
“Up to fifty percent of the 84 million 911 calls every year are the result of accidental butt-pocket dials. It’s a huge waste of taxpayers’ dollars. It pisses off EMS workers. It causes delays. And butt-dialers need to pay big time.”
As a result of the press conference, both Apple and Google have announced that butt-pocket-detection sensors will be included in the next version of their phones, to prevent such calls.
Heartbreak Can Be Reduced with Over-the-Counter Pain Relievers, Study Says
(SNN) - In a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, researchers said that, since the pain of heartbreak activates the same area of the brain that physical pain does, over-the-counter pain relievers will work just fine.
And as a result, aspirin and ibuprofen manufactures are now claiming, in TV commercials, that their products not only work best for relieving the pain of a broken heart, they’re also best for relieving the pain of disastrous dates, the pain of turning fifty already, and the pain of losing $100, because your favorite football teams lost in the last few minutes of the game. Hundreds more are in the works.
Kim Jong-Un Turns YouTube-Video Forensics into a New Form of Entertainment
(SNN) - It all started with everyone asking, Why hasn’t he appeared publicly to make additional threats to nuke the United States - or a Hollywood studio for mocking him in a film? And now you can experience the joy of creating a conspiracy theory, just like the panelists on Fox News.
Check out the latest Kim Jong-Un video, speculate on what’s really going on, upload a video of your idea to YouTubeVideoForensics.ca, and you just may end up being a regular on the Daily Show.
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
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