(SNN) - “. . . Look, I have no problem with the government reading our emails,” the man on the panel whined at the female. “Someone in authority needs to keep an eye on people who put ‘How do I make a bomb’ in their search engines and who buys explosive materials online.” Then he yelled, “But private companies doing it goes way too far.”
“I see nothing wrong with Facebook collecting data on us,” the woman shot back, “so advertisers can tell us about problems, we didn’t know we had, in their ads.”
“But I have a Constitutional right to privacy,” the man protested, shaking a finger at the woman. “And no company has a right to invade my privacy just because his wife happens to click on an ad that asks, ‘Are you REALLY SURE your husband isn’t cheating on you?’”
“The Fourth Amendment protects our rights from unreasonable search and seizure by the government,” the female lectured him. “But there’s no such law restricting private companies from doing it.” Then she sing-songed, “And thank God someone is helping us married women preserve our marital rights to a faithful husband.”
The man cried out in exasperation, “But, dear, I address all the women I interview for stories as ‘sweetie pie’ in my emails.” He held up a hand and swore, “It builds rapport.”
The woman held up a copy of his credit card statement and a photo from the hotel’s security camera. “And why did you conduct your interview - with that hot-looking, young woman - in a hotel room?”
“I, ah, have to do them somewhere,” he cried out, begging for understanding. “The lobbies are always way too noisy.”
“And the expensive necklace you bought online?”
He struggled to think of something. “For, ah, you, my pet. For your birthday.”
“That’s four months away,” she said, snidely
“Ah . . . last year I forgot. You gave me grief, for good reason. And since I love you so much, I, ah, wanted to make sure I didn’t make that mistake again, so . . . .”
Ed Toolis, author of “There’s an App for That”
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