Tea Party Candidate Stunned that State Fair Crowd Thought He Was a Comic
(SNN) - “You mean that wasn’t a Stephen Colbert-type show?” exiting fans kept telling an SNN reporter, covering the event. “Crap, and here I was going to buy his album on iTunes,” another one spectator said.
9 Cities Pass “Don’t Walk and Text” Laws
(SNN) - “We had to do something,” said Chicago’s mayor Rahm Emanual. “Personal injuries, like walking into lampposts, and property damage, like walking through windows and denting taxi cabs, are up 7000% And if that doesn’t work, we’ll make walking insurance mandatory, like we have it with cars.”
Lifetime Screenwriters Overjoyed that Convicted Spy Pfc. Manning Is a Transsexual
(SNN) - “All we had before was an underdog being persecuted for leaking illegal activity, that the government repeatedly said they weren’t doing. But when we found out that he was demanding a sex change and be transferred to a woman’s prison, the screenplay practically wrote itself,” head writer said in promo spot with actors.
Latest Holder of Guinness World Records Announced
(SNN) - “Alicia Parnell lived without plastics for a whole 2 hours, 14 minutes and 12 seconds, breaking the previous record by 17 seconds,” a press release says.
Syria’s Assad: “Everything Will Return to Normal in a Month or Two.”
Ed Toolis’ website – http://skirmishes.us
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