(SNN) It was reported today that Fort McMurray residents are concerned about Prairie Chickens invading their city. According to eye witnesses, the Prairie Chickens are sitting on people's vehicles, and running up and down Fort McMurray's streets. A local biologist, Colander Sanders, stated that it was unusual for these birds to brashly sit on the top of people's cars and trucks.
Local resident Theona Helms stated, “It really freaked me out to see this bird sitting on my truck. I had to take a picture of it because it appeared to be watching my house. I think that it has been trained to watch my house and truck. I talked to my neighbors and they are concerned about the Prairie Chickens as well.”
Ms. Helms organized a neighborhood watch committee, and then brought their concerns forward to the local press and the RCMP. Sergeant Sam Steel, a spokesman for the RCMP, stated that he has received numerous complaints about the Prairie Chickens. He went on to state that the RCMP does not have the resources to raise and train “surveillance” Prairie Chickens. “We get into enough trouble using small drones to investigate traffic accidents,” stated Sergeant Steel.
News of the Prairie Chicken invasion was brought to the attention of Cedric Norgler, head of the Alberta Civil Liberties Association. Mr. Norgler instructed the Association's lawyer, Bullnose Smith, to file a lawsuit in the Court of Queen's Bench. “We believe that the Prairie Chickens have either been trained by the RCMP, or the Canadian Security Spy Service (CSIS), to spy on citizens of Fort McMurray.” Mr. Norgler went on to say, “If the Court can determine whether the RCMP or CSIS has breached the Canadian Human Rights Act, and the Privacy Act, we can have the birds destroyed and seek compensation.”
Photo by the lovely and talented Robyn Hunt – Some Rights Reserved – The Sage nor this article endorsed
DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.