(SNN) - Airbus, the world’s second leading aircraft manufacturer has announced a bold and surprising name change in the following press release:
“The company formerly known as Airbus will now and heretofore be called Airplane."
After an extensive Twitter survey, we believe that this new name is more consistent with the company’s core mission: stuffing people like sardines into metal containers.
True, the customer experience we offer is just like being in a flying bus, but why emphasize it with a name like Airbus? After millions of flights, we know that wondering what a bus is doing up above the clouds leads passengers to panic.
Our owners, the French Government, firmly believe that this new name will enable us to better compete for French government subsidies.
This name change will also result in greater corporate efficiencies as we will no longer have to answer phone calls from people seeking ground transport to local airports.
On a practical note, a French government planning accident placed our corporate headquarters in Toulouse, France. Sure, we’d rather be in Paris, but so would everyone on the planet. Paris may be the greatest city on earth, but on behalf of our begrudgingly adopted hometown of Toulouse, we demand that people stop tweeting @Airbus with dumb puns like: “Boeing would like nothing better than Toulouse Airbus - #you’re-name-is-dumb.”
In closing, as we retire the Airbus title we remind the public that only half of our name is really changing. Keeping the first three letters intact represents significant cost savings and a reassuring bridge from our glorious past to our uncertain future.”
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