(SNN) - Fed up with Republican Party attempts to shut down the US Government to prevent Obamacare, a group of US Senators removed all toilet paper from the House of Representatives.
Calling themselves the Left Hand Caucus, the group of democrats rejected accusations that their actions were a mean-spirited schoolboy prank. In an official statement, the group said, “Elections matter and in 2012 the American People voted to drain the swamp that is Washington, D.C. Rather than focus on priorities like increasing congressional pension plans and eliminating campaign reform, a small but noisy group of Tea Party militants is preventing us from the quiet pursuit of special interest handouts. If these radicals want to shut down the government, they can start with their own bodily functions.”
Republican countermeasures were swift and specific. Within minutes of losing their soft tissue, congressman rushed the Senate and draped rolls of colorful, taxpayer-funded toilet paper over the Capitol Dome. “The people have spoken,” said Michelle Bachman, the Minnesota congresswoman who ran as a novelty candidate for president in 2012. “If a handful of senators continue to squeeze our Charmin, we’ll TP the Lincoln Memorial. next”
“This is yet another example of President Obama’s lack of leadership,” said Senator John McCain, another erstwhile hopeful from the 2012 election. “He’d rather pal around with our enemies than purge the blocked plumbing of government.”
“No comment,” said the president's press secretary who, when pressed, admitted that he was looking forward to taking the day off along with other non-essential workers should the government shut down.
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