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• Star Wars Would Be Different If ItsTechnology Was Like Ours
  By: Norman Birnbach
  
  (SNN) The most mystical aspect of the Star Wars galaxy isn't the concept of the Force, the metaphysical power that connects the galaxy. It's the technology. What makes Star Wars’ technology so cool is that it actually works and is fairly intuitive. After all, Luke is able to fix his lightsaber without contacting the Jedi Help Desk or making an appointment with a Jedi Genius. But back on earth, the Force is not strong with our...
  
  
• Oscar Winner J.K. Simmons Makes New Demands Of Farmers Insurance Ad Agency
  By: Norman Birnbach
  
  (SNN) After winning an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of an abusive orchestra director in "Whiplash," actor and spokesperson for Farmers Insurance, J.K. Simmons,  is now in a position to make demands of the insurance company's ad agency. The Sage obtained a list of Mr. Simmons from an undisclosed source:  An on-set trailer where I can get into character – and not have to rehearse lines standing in a...
  
  
• Blatter Quits FIFA to Boost NFL Goodell's Integrity
  Photo: And Soccer Fans Around the World Go Wild
  By: Norman Birnbach
  
  (SNN) In a surprise move, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell agreed to recuse himself from hearing New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's appeal of his four-game suspension for participating in Deflategate.  In a letter to the NFL Players Association, Goodell wrote that, "Because protecting the integrity of the game is the Commissioner's most important responsibility, I am appointing Sepp Blatter to handle Tom Brady's...
  
  
• Nickname Guide for Newborn Princesses
  Photo: How about "Bob"?
  By: Norman Birnbach
  
  (SNN) Now that we know the name of Britain's newest princess, there remains an important question – and it’s not, “How does one (or one’s staff) baby proof a castle?” It’s “How will the media refer to her?” Some have suggested variations on each of her names, Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge, such as Lottie, Liz, Beth, Di or Cami – but those nicknames are as common as her maternal...