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Liberals Use Crushing Debt to Aid Middle Class

Photo: There's a lot of that going around.

(SNN) In an exclusive interview with the Sage News*, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, discussed his government’s ambitious, unprecedented plan to help the middle class by racking up debt like a bitter divorcee with access to the credit cards. 

“Our entire focus is the middle class,” asserted Trudeau. “Whether we are impulsively buying Super Hornets or hastily cancelling the contract, we are doing it for the middle class. Even when we try to make Parliament more convenient for the ruling party, that, too, is for the middle class.”

Asked which of his government’s initiatives he is most proud of, the darling of the international media, who can exude “socks appeal” at will, was unequivocal.

“Undoubtedly that would be the carbon tax,” he said with another glance in a nearby mirror. “The impact on the middle class is immeasurable. Actually, we just choose not to measure it, although if we had, we wouldn't release the information. No sense worrying the middle class.”

Trudeau went on to explain why he has sent almost $3 Billion to foreign countries which is nearly a tenth of the deficit.

“Oh yeah, we’ll throw money at anything, really, for other countries,” explained the dreamy PM while being photographed by his personal photographer. 

“Canadians already know how great I… we are. To let the whole world know just how great, though, we need to spend money. Lots of money  As everyone knows, money talks. Even borrowed money, although it's usually in a much more nervous voice. Elevating my… I mean, my country’s stature on the international stage is extremely important to me… er my precious middle class.”

“It's simple, really, much like many of our MPs. Since we won the election, the middle class must have believed whatever I were to do would be in their best interest. They wouldn't have voted for me if they didn't think I would, you know, take care of things. Now, I'm in charge, they don't have to think about politics until the next chance to vote for me.  It's why we hide so much stuff because ignorance is bliss. What leader wouldn't want a blissful middle class? Sunny ways, my friend!”

*which only occurs in our wildest dreams

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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