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Top 10 Reasons It's Better to be POTUS than Santa

(SNN) Being Santa Claus would be a pretty good gig with all the world-wide adulation and love that has lasted centuries. Great job security, little in the way of hostile press, and a team of experts that seemingly never let you down or get embroiled in scandal, makes it an attractive position. Despite these realities, compared to being President of the United States, being Santa frankly pales like his northern sun-less complexion. Here's why:

10. You have numerous secretive agencies helping you with your naughty/nice list.

9. You don't have to read the letters from poor people asking for things.

8. Extreme right-wing Christians believe in you.

7. Less heart-breaking to have an Island of Misfit Terrorists than Misfit Toys.

6. No reindeer poop on the lawn after spring thaw. Just picketers. Lots of picketers.

5. World leaders take your phone calls.

4. Nukes beat coal for discouraging bad behaviour.

3. Remote-controlled, armed drones are way more fun than any remote-control toy.

2. You get to be on TV all the time and not just during Hallmark Hall of Fame Christmas rom-com season.

1. Way more Twitter followers.



DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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