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Toronto to Mark 50 Years Since Last Stanley Cup

Photo: 1932: First team named Maple Leafs wins cup

(SNN) The year was 1967; Canada’s centennial. Lester B. Pearson, the “Mike” from Mike and Ike chewy candy fame, was Canada’s Prime Minister. Pearson, of course, was the nation’s last Canadian government head to actually be respected on the world stage. Additionally, Pearson was responsible for our red maple leaf flag expertly designed to boost patriotism and look nifty on hockey team jerseys. 1967 was also the year of the Montreal Expo (the world exposition, not the now-defunct baseball team) which drew tourists from all over the world. Historically significant, 1967 was then capped off by the lucky Toronto Maple Leafs winning their 13th Stanley Cup.

Now, a half a century later, a group wants to hold a huge public celebration of that heady victory with a giant city-wide “block party” organized by a group called, Fans of Futility. The group has raised over a million dollars to hold the festival which they claim will feature bus tours of Toronto Tim Hortons locations, appearances by the winning players who are still alive and mostly lucid, as well as a free raffle with the grand prize being a trip to the 2017 Stanley Cup anywhere in the United States.

“We are very excited about this event,” gushed Friends of Futility chairman, Ollin Vayne.  “This is a fantastic way for us to recognize the amazingly consistent record of our heroes for the last five decades. This is truly an emblematic milestone for the major sports centre that is Toronto, Canada.”

Also in attendance at the event will be officials from the city of St. Louis who are looking to stage a similar event in 2019 to celebrate their own fifty years of cuplessness, having not won since 1969

The next drought-stricken team in the list is Arizona, who has never won in their 36 year history and the New York Islanders who are on drought year 31.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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