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Poacher Hunting Gains Huge Popularity

Photo: One way to stop the slaughter


(SNN) "Slowly creeping through the taller growth on the edge of the jungle, suddenly, every nerve was at high alert as our guide, M'Benga, made the 'quiet' signal and pointed toward the clearing. I could see the dim outline of a group of them huddled together for security from outside threats.

Like the one about to be unleashed on them now.

Another signal and our weapons began spitting rapid-fire lead, scattering the lucky and killing the rest. On closer examination we were elated to have bagged seven poachers who had been planning to kill members of a protected rhino herd for the valuable horns destined for limp-dicked old farts." - from a travel blog by 78 year-old Mrs. Edna Higgenbotham.

A Canadian adventure travel company is doing booming business offering hunting trips with the quarry being ruthless poachers who decimate endangered species. "Poacher Hunting Safaris", as they are being marketed, promise all the thrill of big game hunting with the even better reward of ridding the planet of an unprincipled scourge.

"We can't keep up with the demand," crowed company owner Remington Slaymen. "We had no idea people would prefer hunting human jackals to hunting real lions. However, our client surveys told another story so we forged ahead."

The company claims it has already made $4.2m in profit in the six months the tours have been offered. There is a waiting list already which may take up to a year for your number to come up. Travel experts say this will likely mean copy-cat competitors won't be far behind with alternative amenity options such as taxidermy services.

When asked if he had any reservations about the killing of humans, Slaymen appeared thoughtful. "Reservations? Yes. In Italy. At this really expensive restaurant I always wanted to go to. The wife and I are booked for next week!"

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by Edwin Hoek Flickr photostream. The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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