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What Brexit Means for Canada Besides Pricier Crumpets

Photo: "The question was too straightforward."

(SNN) As our friends and relatives "across the pond" struggle with the fallout from accidentally voting to leave the EU, Canadians, too, are asking what will be the short, medium and long-term, and all the other terms in between, effects on our economy and lives.

The Sage News assembled a team of renown Canadian and international economists to weigh in on the effect of Britain becoming almost like an island, from our nation's perspective. Here are some of the highlights of their report.

Crumpets will become more expensive. Already Canadian consumers are stocking up on them for fear of a repeat of the Great Crumpet Famine of '08.

Canadian wines will become more popular in the U.K. as France, Spain, Portugal, and Germany won't want to sell any kind of liquor to their ex in case of drunken texts at 2:00 am.

Canada, and other non-EU nations will have to be careful not to appear too chummy with British representatives at international meetings and conferences until after the EU guys have gone off together for the evening in that "cool kids" clique they have.

Canada may have to be prepared to host some of the refugees fleeing the new political regime in the U.K., even as we're inundated with Americans fleeing a Trump presidency.

Canadian anti-monarchists will be emboldened by the courageous liberation vote and seek to break Canada away from England and the Commonwealth. Unfortunately, this will also embolden separatist elements in Quebec, Alberta, Labrador, and PEI to break away from Canada, however. Toronto, too, is now considering leaving Ontario just as Vancouver Island has announced plans to liberate their island from the oppression of BC. Sooke has threatened to leave Vancouver Island should this occur.

Canada may see a whopping 33% increase in exports to England. Of course that will just increase their portion of Canada's global exports from 3% to 4%; half of which consists of beaver pelts for gentlemen's hats.

Canada may see more tourism as embarrassed Brits avoid going to the European continent for holidays; afraid those tourist destinations will be as welcoming as jilted lovers generally are. EU visitors from Britain may want to download to their devices a food checking app called "BoogerAlert".


Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by Abi Begum Flickr photostream. The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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