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Top Ten Lies Our Politicians Tell

Photo: If you voted for him don't worry. We all did.

(SNN) It is surprising, no matter how different countries may be, they all feature politicians who tell the exact same lies, prevaricate with identical phrases and dissemble with similar deflections.. These falsehoods are used so often, everyone knows they're lies which somewhat negates their value. The political class (an oxymoron, if ever there was one) still stick with these lies because, sometimes, a widely accepted lie beats the truth hands down. Here are the lies our political masters tell and what they really means.

Lie: "I got into politics to make a difference."

Truth: "I got into politics to make a difference in my lifestyle with the cushy job, decent income, great benefits and future prospects. Its worked out great!"

Lie: "With all due respect to my political opponent..."

Truth: "I hate my political opponent's putrid guts and think he's an extremist."

Lie: "The fiancial books look worse than our predecessors claimed."

Truth: "Oh boy! Now we get to make up the numbers!"

Lie: "My campaign is not about me, but my cause."

Truth: "What cause? Cause I need the job, of course."

Lie: "This policy is good for the people."

Truth: "This policy is good for my offshore bank account."

Lie: "My constituents tell me they support the legislation."

Truth: "My wealthy donor base tell me they support the legislation."

Lie: "I was misquoted."

Truth: "You heard me, all right."

Lie: "I don't remember."

Truth: "I'm trying to forget."

Lie: "I regret my actions."

Truth: "I regret being caught."

Lie:"I am retiring to spend more time with my family.

Truth: "I am getting out before people find out what I did and the poop hits the propeller."

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by Tristan Schmurr Flickr photostream. The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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