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Robo-Rat Prototype Missing - $100K Reward Offered

Photo: It (possibly they) look just like this one


(SNN) Military drone developer, General Die-Namix, has recently announced they are missing a tiny four-legged drone which looks like a rat. The model was intended as a surveillance unit but does have a poisonous bite to defend itself using its onboard artificial intelligence.

"There is, of course, no danger to the public," assured company spokesman, retired U.S. Army major, Des Astor. "The software developers are pretty sure the unit will deactivate on its own eventually, although it does have the ability to repair or even replicate itself and can recharge using any 110 volt plug-in."

"The company is offering a reward for anyone finding the unit, or possibly units by now, of a whopping $100,000 per unit brought to our hazardous waste site outside of town," added Astor. "This is not an emergency. We intended this whole zany situation as a public relations exercise, if you will, where the citizens of this great nation can join in the drone development fun, in a "Where's Waldo" sort of way."

At the press conference, Astor's aides circulated a handout with a list of ways you could distinguish robo-rats from the regular variety. Here are some with the full list available here.

Robo-rats are stronger and faster than a regular rat.
Robo-rats can chew through steel.
Robo-rats can be observed plugged into a household electrical receptacle.
Robo-rats are bullet proof.
Robo-rats can withstand far higher and lower temperatures than common rats.
Robo-rats are not affected by fumigation, poison or any household trap. 

If you think you have seen a robo-rat, please DO NOT call authorities or 911 but phone us immediately at 1-800-RAT-FINK.

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by the Tracy Flickr photostream. The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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