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Trump Issues Immigration Questionnaire

Photo: Not sure about this guy

(SNN) To better define what he meant by only allowing into America "desirable" immigrants and not drug-trafficking Mexicans and any Muslims, other than Amal Clooney who "you have to admit is pretty desireable", Donald Trump and his staff (both guys) have developed a questionnaire they claim should be implemented "when Trump becomes President and stars in the best, most lucrative reality show ever".

The Sage News has obtained a copy of the questionnaire in question in exchange for a kind word about the size of Mr. Trump's hands, which we verify are "yuuuuuuge" (albeit scaly and reptilian).

US Immigration Questionaire

1) Have you ever been a terrorist?

A) Yes

B) No

C) Not sure


2) Have you ever been a Muslim?

A) Yes

B) No

C) Not sure


3) Are you Amal Clooney?

A) Yes

B) No

C) Not sure


4) Do you support Israel?

A) Yes

B) No

C) I prefer to remain neutral at this point


5) Are you Mexican?

A) Yes, but not a drug dealer

B) Yes, but not a rapist

C) Yes, but not a drug dealer or rapist

D) Not sure


6) Do you watch The Apprentice on television?

A) Yes and all the infomercials!

B) No but I will if ever I can afford a TV

C) Not sure I would admit it.


7) Do you want to make America great again?

A) If America isn't great right now, why I am I applying for citizenship?

B) It depends on when you think America was great.

C) Not sure I understand the question.


8) How do you feel about orangey-bronze hair?

A) I love it!

B) Uhhhhh....

C) Not sure it's a color found in nature.


9) Are you okay with violence at political rallies?

A) That's kinda what we are fleeing

B) I prefer refreshments

C) I believe violence is more suited to NHL games

D) I am not sure I am responsible for violence at political rallies.


10) Will you swear allegiance to this country, this culture and the Trump Presidency?

A) Yes, yes, and ummmmm....

B) Of course! I am a bricklayer by trade specializing in brick walls!

C) Not sure I want to live where that many people would willingly vote for Donald Trump.

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by the amazing Gage Skidmore Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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