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Govt Documents Reveal Secret Ministry of Openness

Photo: Group shot of Minister of Openness with his (her?) staff

(SNN) The Canadian government, led by socialite Justin Trudeau, has been secretively hiding a special department called the Ministry of Openness according to documents procured by The Sage News through the Freedom of Information Act.

The name of the Minister of Openness is not known, but did allude to having an "open door policy" for journalists if they can discover his or her true identity.

The Ministry is apparently responsible for advising the Liberal leadership when the Ministry feels the government is being too open, as explained in the press kit. Unfortunately, we can't quote from the press material directly as it self-destructed after a media event held at a secluded location..

"You don't want to create the expectation that government officials will explain their actions or the next thing you know, people might start questioning our methods and our goals," claimed a ministry spokesman who could not be identified. "Too much transparency creates public discussion and awareness. which can be dangerous to freedom and safety."

When news of the secret ministry broke, NDP leader, Tom Mulcair was livid.

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever seen and believe me, after this long in the NDP, I've seen lots," Mulcair snapped.

According to CPC substitute leader, Rona Ambrose, this Openness Ministry is just the tip of the iceberg.

"We are preparing to table documents in parliament that show not only does this government have a secret Ministry of Openness, but also a secret Ministry of Savings, Ministry of Accountability, and Ministry of Truth."

When asked if Ambrose felt the latter ministry was "Orwellian", she responded she didn't have a clue what that meant but if it was bad, then "probably".

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by Nick Kenrick Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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