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Study of Dog Butt Licking Leads to Medical Break-through

(SNN) A recent study conducted by students at Swansea Medical College has lead to a miracle break-through in understanding Gastrointestinal Infections. “We observed a group of 100 dogs and their ass licking behaviors and asked the question, "What benefit is there to butt licking?” advised Professor Alhimar Alllaeiq, head of the school bacteriological lavoratories.

The study, conducted over a six month period, resulted in cataloging twelve new strains of bacteria, and to a new protocol for the prevention of infectious diseases. Swansea, a progressive think tank, is known for its innovative liberal technics in gathering scientific data.

“We noticed that some dogs butt-lick more than others,” explained Alllaeiq, “and that there are those dogs suffering from more G.I. infections than those that didn't partake.”

Alllaeiq told The Sage that the data was conflicting at times; it depended on if the dogs gave, received, or self indulged.

“We needed to expand our study parameters; so in January we moved onto human testing.” Alllaeiq stated ."Over 300 students volunteered to take part in the study."

“The results provided that 'Eureka' moment,” advised Alllaeiq. “Our study has proven that butt-licking can cause serious health problems in humans and should be avoided at all costs.”

Image: “Butt sniffing ying yang” by Tim Dorr - Some Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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