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Jeb Finally Gets It; Changes His Name to Romney

Photo: Way cuter than Mitt, though

(SNN) In a stunning development that is rocking the GOP establishment right to its already jellied salad-like foundation, Jeb Bush has legally changed his name to Jeb Romney.

"It is obviously all about the name," claimed the candidate. "It obviously isn't my looks, since I look great next to W. It's also not my track record in Florida either;  which, compared to that bozo with his stupid TV show, was a great success."

Pressed further, Jeb admitted he felt some resentment that W got a crack at the White House which soured the milk for his own run.

"Folks are uncomfortable with dynasties," he told interviewer, Miguel Escobar, who is the studio janitor, pressed into action when no one else wanted to do the story. "They figure I will be as big a dumbass as W was. How fair is that? No one could be!"

"The decision to change my name is a reflection of the reality the American people now feel, that the Bush's think we're in a league of our own," admitted Jeb in an interview he had to pay for with CNN. "So many bad things happened during W's rein, the thought of another one of the family in office has actually created a kind of 'Bush disease'. In other words, they're sick of us."

The candidate decided on the name, 'Romney' since it did well in focus groups; placing ahead of 'Lincoln', 'Kennedy' and even 'Washington'. The name 'Obama' scored higher than 'Romney' but even Jeb knew he better not go there.

"If this doesn't work, I might switch my name to 'Reagan' or 'Putin'," he mused aloud. "Or maybe change it to 'Trudeau' and move to Canada. They love their dynasties up there."

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by Gage Skidmore Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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