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Trudeau Awards Ted Cruz With Order of Canada

Photo: Fun Fact: Cruz played for the Leafs for 2 seasons before the trade to Dallas


(SNN) Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, has announced American GOP presidential nominee Ted Cruz is the 2015 recipient of The Order of Canada. The award recognizes Cruz's contribution to Canadian society.

The 2014 Order of Canada went to world-renown recycling guru, Red Green, who is currently using the accompanying keepsake Inuit carving as a fourth couch leg.

"We are very pleased to make this momentous announcement," said Trudeau at the press conference at Rideau Hall. "It is a shame that Mr. Cruz couldn't join us for this announcement but he is busy trying to become the first Calgarian to win the White House."

When asked to respond to the award announcement, Cruz claimed the newbie world leader had likely mistaken him for Ted Simonett, the actor who plays the weird guy on Canadian Tire commercials.

"They got the wrong guy," fumed Cruz. "I want to bomb Canada for their oil and fresh water. That's my contribution to those wacky pack of frozen socialists and walrus herders."

During Cruz's Order of Canada induction, Trudeau talked about Cruz's many achievements. These included his education at Princeton and Harvard, as well becoming a senator for the state of Texas.

"But the greatest contribution Cruz made to Canadian society," Trudeau summed up, "was when he left Canada for the U.S. For that one, single, selfless act, Canada is deeply indebted."

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by thetortmaster Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

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