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Group of Bundy Copycats Occupy Canadian Island

Photo: The occupiers ready for the looming showdown

(SNN) The situation appeared tense on a small, un-named island north of Resolute, Nunavut, when a small band of well-armed men contacted Canada's national broadcaster and claimed they were occupying the land and were refusing to pay the $5.00 administrative filing fee for its use.

Frasier Bunzoff, spokesman for the group calling themselves “The Northern Bundies”, had called the nationally broadcast radio show, “Cross Country Catchup” to announce the occupation of the land and issue their list of demands.

The demands included the abolition of Parliament, suspension of all police services in Canada, and the freeing of all inmates. There was other stuff but host Rex Mercer cut him off thinking he was just another crank caller.

“I am culpable of being inordinately expeditious in my use of the 'eliminate intransigent conversationalist button'," admitted the perennially verbose Mercer. “I inadvertently cut off my wife three times last month. She's cut me off since.”

Mercer realized the militant group was serious when Bunzoff called back and threatened to harm a seal pup if he was punted from the program again.

“This Bunzoff character then reiterated his list of demands, adding 'some tents and camping stuff would be real nice right about now',"  revealed the veteran broadcaster. “Apparently, the only equipment they had were all their weaponry which were now too cold to touch without the metal parts welding to their cold, wet fingers.”

Eventually, the would-be militants dropped their demands and began begging to be rescued from a hungry polar bear, the bitter cold, and the gale that was brewing.

“W-w-w-w-we sh-should be e-e-e-easy to spot in our c-c-c camo gear,” whimpered Bunzoff as the show came to an end for a book show or something equally gripping. “It's the only g-g-g-greenery for m-m-miles and m-m-m-miles. Please hurry! Oh c-c-c-crap, here comes the b...”

Photo credit: Some Rights Reserved by USARAK Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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