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Syrian Refugees Sent to Nunavut First Nation Want To Go Home

Photo: A monster approaches...

(SNN) Syrian refugees that ended up on the Stikitudaman First Nations in Nunavut, thanks to a clerical error, have asked to be sent back to the Nizip refugee camp in Turkey due to the wretched conditions on the reserve. Ahmed Aguy, patriarch of his family that includes wife, Sabeen and two tots aged three and five, claims the environment is not only hostile to human life, but food and shelter are worse than the camp they fled.

"There are gigantic, hairy monsters trying to kill us," Aguy told Sage News through an interpreter, describing an encounter with a polar bear. "They have teeth the size of butcher knives!"

"The people here are very nice," put in Sabeen. "They even shot one of the monsters and cut the meat up for the village. At least in the refugee camps we had food drops once in a while and we could grow things. These people have to kill monsters to eat. The only monsters in Syria are the military and rebels and the other rebels."

"Also, it much colder than Syria," shivered Ahmed. "It goes below freezing in January in Aleppo sometimes but nothing like here. Did you know wet skin sticks to freezing metal? We didn't! My hand was stuck to an outhouse knob for an hour and a half!"

"What I also don't get is why everybody calls their niqabs "balaclavas", added Sabeen. "Even the men wear them."

The Aguys may have a bit of a wait to get their wish to return to the refugee camp in Lebanon. The file is being tossed back and forth between immigration, foreign affairs, and native affairs ministries, each claiming it's the other's responsibility, with no end in sight to the red tape.

Photo: Some Rights Reserved by David Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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