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Alberta and Alaska in Talks to Form a New Nation

Alberta Premier Notley claims she has no clue.

(SNN) While Prime Minister elect Justin Trudeau pushed his wife off the stage during his election victory speech Monday night, a high Alberta government official, going by the name of  “Deep Tug", uploaded sensitive documents to the Wikileaks server.

The packet contained over one hundred emails between the Governor of Alaska and an Acting Deputy Minister from the Alberta Government. The emails indicated that this ADM is well-placed and in charge of all custodial services within the offices of the Alberta Legislature.

According to Wikileaks, “The emails clearly spell out a conspiracy for Alaska to secede from the Union (of the United States) and for Alberta to tell Ottawa to “Pound Salt,” stated a representative from Wikileaks. The leak further revealed that formation would be imminent if either Tom Mulcair of the NDP or Justin Trudeau of the Liberals won the federal election.

“As far fetched as this sounds,” advised Wikileaks, “the emails go on to discuss a deal that would have a pipeline from Alberta follow the Alaska Highway, cross the Yukon, and reach sea ports in Alaska.”

Alberta Premier Rachel Notley was not available for comment, however she was tagged on a tweet regarding the leak, and on October 18th she tweeted the response, “I have no clue #AlaskaAlberta #Pipelines #fossilfuels #economics”

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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