news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Sharia and the Official Baseball Rule Book

(SNN) News that recent changes to the “Official Baseball Rules” followed by the National Alliance of College Summer Baseball has garnered protest by one woman's college league from Ohio. “Its incredible to us that the governing body from the NACSB would alter the rules of baseball because of a complaint from one lobby group,” came the protest from Lucy Grounder, the coach from the Blue Ball Hitters, an all woman's softball team connected to Great Lakes Summer Collegiate League.

Grounder's complaint is in direct response to NACSB's introduction of Sharia into the official baseball rulebook. “Quite simply, the changes make it nearly impossible for a woman's team to compete, and even prohibits our teams from playing exhibition games with men's college teams,” stated Grounder.

“It was the only possible way we could move forward,” responded Haid D'Salaami, newly appointed President of the NACSB, “we cannot have our young college women humiliate themselves publicly. It is offensive, plain and simple.”

The new rules allow woman's teams to play amongst themselves, but several traditional plays can bring swift punitive actions from the NACSB.

Of the changes to the rules, woman's leagues can no longer:
  • use a “pinch hitter”
  • touch, pat or slap a players buttocks
  • “steal bases”
  • make a “squeeze play”
  • throw “spit balls”
  • go to “first base”
  • hit a “moonshot”
  • go all the way to a “home run”
  • batters can no longer “ground out”
  • make a “contact play” proceeding to second or third base
  • hit a “line drive”
  • place a runner into a “scoring position”
  • use the "bull pen"
  • "toss" the ball

The rules have been in effect since the beginning of the 2015 season, which came to the public attention when a shortstop was punished for patting the pitcher's butt after she threw a perfect inning.

The new rules are expected to be adopted by most leagues. Whether other fundamental changes to baseball gear or uniforms is yet to be seen.

Image: College BallSome Rights Reserved by Parker Knight The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Brian K. Hahn



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^