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Hitchhiking Robot Is Decapitated And Left for Dead

Photo: HitchBOT during happier times


(SNN) It appears that the Canadian Hitchhiking Robot (HitchBOT) has succumbed to violence while traveling across the United States. Decapitated and tossed into a ditch, the smiling, chatting lovable robot only made it two weeks into its American journey.

HitchBOT bought it while visiting Philedelphia, the city of brotherly love. The fact that it does not have a brother may explain the violence bestowed upon it. Despite having hitched across Canada as well as Europe without a dent, the United States appears to be a place that is not safe for robots. Whether the attack was a slap against Canadians is not known.

Canadian journalist Lauren O’Neil tweeted this photo below of the molested and broken robot. Violently decapitated, limbs removed, the remains are a reminder that no Canadian robots are welcome in the good ole' US of A.


Canada's hitchhiking robot lasts just two weeks in US before getting decapitated. http://t.co/802FBRUMho #smh pic.twitter.com/0bJexW3igk

— Lauren O'Neil (@laurenonizzle) August 2, 2015

HitchBOT successfully traveled over 10,000 kilometres through Canada and spent 10 days traveling through Germany earlier this year. It has been suggested that the HitchBOT group try their social experiment once more and not give up Canada's basement.

The Sage went to the street to get responses from Canadians regarding the violence foisted on our mechanical citizen. The following is a sample of Canada'a feedback:

  • Peter from Ponoka, Alberta said, “Sorry, we are really sorry for littering your ditches. If you could give just us a few days we will pick up our mess.”
  • Beverly from Vancouver B.C. stated, “I sure hope those lithium batteries are properly disposed of.”
  • Harjeet from Edmonton, Alberta commented, “I told those fellas that the USA was not the place to send him. He would be safer in India or even Iran.”
  • Buford from Calgary, Alberta quipped, “I say we go down there and give those pansies from Philly a good whoop ass!”
  • Smokey from Quadra Island pondered, "He would have not made it across our BC Ferry's anyways..."
  • Celine from Montreal, Quebec responded, "What tis a Hitchbot and who gives a crap!". . .and
  • Martha from Barrie, Ontario said, "It was probably Harper and his cronies that did it."

HitchBOT was survived by Robby the Robot, the Energizer Bunny and C3PO. The family has requested that instead of flowers you can send donations to Goodwill's ReConnect Program.


Photo Credit: Some Rights Reserved by Archie flickr photostream. The Sage News nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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