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Trump Runs Out of People to Offend

You knew it would happen sooner or later

(SNN) An analysis of all of Donald Trump’s public speeches, writings and social media posts by the Political Science Department of Harvard, revealed the POTUS wannabe has managed to insult every American, one way or another and often in many ways. Lead researcher, Professor Norm Bercruncher claims the mass of text they had to sift through certainly indicates the man “never shuts up”.

“When looking at the volumes of opinions we shoveled out of Mr. Trump’s metaphorical cow barn of quotations, it was obvious early on that finding an individual that has not been insulted by Trump at some point would be easier than finding one that was.”

“Take, for example, his trashing of various female celebrities’ appearance, such as Cher, to create buzz around his name prior to some major project being announced,” asserted Professor Bercruncher. “That has taken out virtually half the population of the US in one swath. Women stick together, particularly in hot weather. His dismissive, judgmental attitude has lost him the female vote.”

Other groups who have borne the brunt of Trumps musings include Hispanics, African-Americans, Democrats, Republicans, military personnel, victims of war, anyone not filthy rich, and, of course, anyone who, through no fault of their own, is not Donald Trump.

“The only people who he has not insulted directly are the other super-rich of the world, who are universally offended by his ridiculous attempts at a hairdo,” concluded the professor.

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by DonkeyHotey Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

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