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Trudeau Touts Vote Reform; No Parties that Rhyme with 'Gonservative'

Photo: Is he like, high or something?

(SNN) Third place federal party leader, Justin Trudeau, has announced plans for sweeping electoral change designed to allow the wilderness dwelling Liberals another shot at power.

“If we can’t win with these sets of rules, as we have so often in the past, obviously, we need to change the rules,” stated Trudeau to the reporter at his press conference.

After being “Canada’s Natural Governing Party” for the previous Millennium, using the so-called “first past the post” (FPTP) electoral model, federal Liberals have noticed the new millennium has been rather unkind to their brand. Rather than adopt carefully thought-out policies that would appeal to Canadian voters, the Liberal ‘brain trust’ (the same people that thrust upon the Canadian public, itinerant politician and inspiration for the Muppets, “Sam the Eagle”, Michael Ignatieff, have decided changing electoral law is so much easier.

Here are the highlights of the reform package:

  • Creating an all- party committee (All party= 40 Liberals, one CPC and NDP and a half a vote each for the Greens and the Commies.) to create electoral rules that go back to democracy’s ABCs. (Anybody But Conservatives). This committee will be responsible for instituting an alternative to FPTP with much more complex methods that favour “progressive” parties.
  • Allowing freedom of conscience and thought for all MPs, unless it has to do with any reasonable limitation on abortion.


  • Providing more power to the grassroots organizations of the political process for selecting candidates, unless it conflicts with the leader’s plans.
  • Providing a recall mechanism for MPs. (If the press asks an MP to recall something they said, the government will provide the MP with an appropriate memory of the event.)
  • Legalizing pot in committee meetings and all other parliamentary activities. To save money, they will be BYOB (Bring your own baggie.)
  • Instituting Internet voting since, as Trudeau summed up his press conference quoting one of his heroes, “In the end, we also respect the fact that it doesn’t matter how people voted, just that a vote has taken place. The real power is with the ones who count the votes. We want the vote counters to be Liberal.”

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Alex Guibord Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can also be found here.

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