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15 Things You'll See in Every Summer Movie

Photo: Caution: Car 'Splosions Ahead


Cork's Fabulous 15

15. ‘splosions
14. More ‘splosions
13. Even more ‘splosions
12. CGI ‘splosions
11. Real ‘splosions
10. Big-ass ‘splosions
9.   Bigger-ass ‘splosions
8.   Super Heroes
7.   Superdooper Heroes
6.   Superdooperpooper Heroes
5.   Villains
4.   Super Villains
3.   Super Villains causin’ ‘splosions
2.   Super Villains Hoisted by their own ‘splosion petards
1.   Sequel 'splosions

Okay, I lied. 
Not every Summer Movie has ‘splosions. Each summer, some clueless intern will hit the wrong button and a studio will accidentally release a Summer Movie without ‘splosions. Studio heads will roll. Ironically it's one of Hollywood’s most effective ways of cleaning house.
But almost all Summer movies have 'splosions because that puts the most butts in the most seats, earns the most money for the movie makers and, as night follows day, puts the most Porsches outside the executive buildings.
There are also Summer comedies. These sometimes contain  'splosions, especially if too much TNT has been ordered by the studio. Some of these films, unfortunately, are Adam Sandler movies, which frankly could stand a little sprucing up with ‘splosions.  
This past weekend the top box office movie (Pitch Perfect  II) had singing. Didn’t see that coming. Or going for that matter. In fact, I didn’t see it at all once I learned it wasn’t a baseball movie. 
But I know one thing. You can bet your Turbo S Cabriolet next summer will have more than one singing ‘splosion movie.

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Paul Downey Flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can  be located here .

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Entertainment and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
More from John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.

 

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