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US Air Force Nixes Logo Deal With Target Inc

Photo: Pilots Unhappy With Branding Choice

(SNN) Although the secret contract was said to be in the millions, Air Force General Donald Baumsoway, announced on Friday they would not be partnering with Target to have the store’s logo on US airplanes and helicopters.

“We agree that the terms were quite beneficial to our bottom line,” admitted the distinguished airman. “However, the men and women flying these craft in battle were uncomfortable with the brand.”

The announcement was made during a press conference at the Pentagon Restaurant and Paintball Emporium in Bangor, Maine. The assembled press corps, which consisted of an internet blogger, a woman with a foil hat from the community access channel and a guy named Bob who claimed he was from “the networks”, pressed the General until his brow creased regarding the reasons for the Air Force rank and file’s concern about adorning their equipment with the store’s logo.

“Okay,” Baumsoway finally admitted. “The fact of the matter is, it wasn’t the Target logo that bothered them. The pilots of these crafts just didn’t want to be associated with a brand that couldn’t even take over Canada. Target went up there and got their butts kicked. They had to pull out entirely, closing all 133 Canadian Target stores.”

General Baumsoway went on to say that they are now in talks with Walmart on a branding initiative and merchandising deal.

“All branches of the military are doing what we can for the good of the American economy,” Baumsoway said in closing. “Plus, the American public can rest assured procurement officials will get 10% off on regularly priced store items.”

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved  by Airwolfhound  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can  be located here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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