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Embattled News Anchor Brian Williams Offered Posh Position With The Sage News


(SNN) – On the heels of the news that the Twitter-pated embattled storyteller, Brian Williams, is stepping down from NBC News as the lead anchor, a new door opens. The Canadian based Sage News Network has sent an offer to Williams to lead their Faux News Team. “I can say officially that SNN has offered Mr. Williams the cushy position as our faux news Managing Editor,” came the word from publisher Brian Hahn. “We already have a top team, with legendary Chris McKerracher willing to work side-by-side with Williams. Williams will enjoy a remuneration package that is 80% more than we pay our top reporter, John 'Cork' Corcoran,” added Hahn.

“We feel he has the right stuff for The Sage,” advised Hahn.

The Sage News Network broke into the scene in February of 2013. The network is responsible for reporting that the legendary missing AVRO Arrow from 1959 was found in Greenland and restored by the Greenland government, a rotting corpse of a Sasquatch was found fully intact along the shores of the Bow River, and that China has found ancient Roman ruins on the moon. “Yes, the Sage News needs a Williams,” responded lead satirist Chris McKerracher. “It's tough making news up.”

Williams caught the attention of the faux-news agency when he reported that his helicopter had crashed in the war torn Iraq during a battle. A story that proved to be fabricated, and “fuzzy” when one US serviceman in the crash, flight engineer Lance Reynolds, wrote: "Sorry dude, I don't remember you being on my aircraft. I do remember you walking up about an hour after we had landed to ask me what had happened."

Although Williams has not responded to the posh offer, he did state, "I am sure that if I take SNN's generous offer, I will continue my career-long effort to be worthy of the trust of those who place their trust in us."

“We are all excited about Williams writing for The Sage” stated Hahn, Hahn was very clear when he advised, “He will only be contributing to our satire section.”

The Sage News consists of three separate sections, Satire, Entertainment and Opinion. “We hold writers to journalistic standards on the Sage Entertainment and the Sage Opinion," stated Hahn “Yeah, no, Williams will do well in our faux-news publications. We will see how he works out.”


Image (altered): Some Rights Reserved by David Shankbone flickr photostream. The Sage nor the article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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