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Canada Loses Hockey Gold Medals Due to Dope

Photo: A Plane Perhaps Like the One With Medals On It.

(SNN) - Following Team Canada's electrifying World Junior Hockey win over a ruthless, evil empire known as Team Russia, the Canuck team's gold medals went missing. Team officials are blaming a baggage handler at the Canadian Air terminal in Toronto.

"Apparently, according to the airline, the dope loading the suitcases onto the carousel had missed the bag that held the medals," explained team logistics manager, Eli Likarug. "The bag with the medals in it is probably on its way to Winnipeg or some other God-forsaken place by now. I sure hope they were insured."

This isn't the first incident of a sporting award going missing. The Stanley Cup went MIA for almost a month after the Edmonton Oilers won it in the '80's. It was later discovered being used as a bidet at a house of ill repute in the Alberta capital.

"This is what happens when you entrust important items to untrained security personnel," said Edward Palooka of Eddie's Discount Security and Pizza Delivery. "They should have had that hardware under armed guard 24/7 until they reached their destination."

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Xlibber flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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