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Backroom Deal Makes Cuba Canada's 11th Province

Photo: 2009 pic of Castro and what looks like David Frum

(SNN) - Political pundits are now suggesting that Canada had ulterior motives in mind when it brokered an historic agreement between the United States and Cuba. The northern country, always on the lookout for a nice vacay spot, has announced Cuba will become Canada's 11th province.

"The groundwork was laid years ago when then-PM, Pierre Trudeau and then-murderous dictator, Fidel Castro became good friends during a state visit," claimed renown Cuban historian, Oli Olafson from his ancestral home just outside of Havana. (Numerous shots of Trudeau and Castro being BBFs available here.)

"When Trudeau visited the island in 1972, Pierre and Fidel became fast friends. Castro was even given the honour of being one of Trudeau's pallbearers at the former Prime Minister's state funeral. Rumours of an offspring swap were entirely unfounded, however, although speculation still persists."

The money used by these new Canadians, the Cuban Convertible Peso, is a more valuable currency than the plainer Sedan Peso, but will still be discontinued in favour of the Canadian "loonie" (a nickname for Canadian currency, not for the Canadian Prime Minister.)

"This is a momentous day!" crowed immigration minister, Chris Alexander. "Not only will we have a place where Canadians can get a tan and do some beachifying, we will also solve our Temporary Foreign Worker problems. They have almost 12 million people there who can supply all the cheap labour we can use. They'll work for peanuts! This is assuming, of course, they don't all freeze to death in the sub-zero weather."

Government sources say the Cuban unemployment rate is 4.3%, though, according to the possibly accurate Index Mundi website, the figure is closer to double the reported amount. Mundi gets their information from the CIA World Fact Book, (yes, Virginia, there really is one) so it must be true.

"Given discrepancies like that, their government statisticians will fit right in," beamed Alexander. "I just love it happy endings, almost as much as certain Liberal MPs."

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Christian Cordova flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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