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All Alberta MLAs Have Now Crossed Floor to Govt Side

Photo: Early Christmas present for Premier Prentice

(SNN) - In a surprise move yesterday, every non-PC MLA in the Alberta Legislature has now crossed the floor to sit with the government. This leaves Alberta with not one single MLA sitting on the opposition side, nor even any married ones.

“It only made sense,” claimed Rachelle Nutley, former Leader of the Alberta New Democratic Party who is now a cabinet minister in the PC government in a newly-created portfolio known as “Participant”, which included a pretty ribbon. “There was no way any other party will ever unseat the conservatives so we all figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

The former leader of the Liberal Party of Alberta, whose name has rarely been published and is unavailable at this time, was in agreement with Nutley.

“We all got tired of rolling that giant boulder up the hill,” said Whats-his-Name. “What is the point of being in opposition when these guys just steam right over you every election? At least if we join the government, we will be able to influence policy from the inside.”

Premier Prentice was quick to correct the ex-Liberal leader, however.

“That’s what he thinks,” he chortled maniacally. “Or… is their leader a she? I can never remember. Either way, the only influence we will actually allow the floor crossers is in matters like what we should have for lunch and where we might hold our Christmas party.”

Meanwhile, Alberta Party Leader, Gregg Clarke, has issued a solemn pledge that under no circumstances will he or any other of his party members join the Conservatives if they ever find themselves elected to anything, “unless they promise them something really good” he added as a qualifier.

Legislature staff members are currently examining how they can seat everybody all on one side of the room. They fear if they screw it up, all decisions coming from the Legislature will be unbalanced.

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Mark Male  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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