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Edmonton Gun Shop Owner Makes Terrorist List

(SNN) - The Honourable Stephan Blarney, Canada’s Minister of Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness, today announced that the Government of Canada has added Siad Al-Fubar and his business, crISIS Gun Shop, to the Criminal Code list of terrorist entities.

Siad Al-Fubar came to the attention after a business competitor, Shimmel Cornstein from the JDL Gun & Fun Shop questioned the business name. “I noticed that when Siad fixed his sign, he reduced the first two letters of the name,” came the accusation from Shimmel. “There it was, in full view, da woyd ISIS. Oy Vey. What's a fella to do?”

“Look, times are tough,” came a reply from Siad, “My shop is called Crisis not Isis. I got a discount for the CR, because the smaller letters were on special.” According to Siad, he found the CR on clearance by the Pennyrama Clearance House. “They were ten bucks cheaper. It's too good a deal!”

“Look, we investigated Mr. Al-Fubar's explanation,” Stephan Blarney told our Sage reporter, “It just does not hold water.” Blarney stated that they learned that Siad is an Edmonton arms dealer, and is known to sell handguns, rifles, knifes, and ammunition. “It's simple,” said Blarney, “It's my job to protect Canadians. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a terrorist.” Blarney ended the interview with, “We know, oh yes, we know.”

crISIS Gun Shop is located on Fort Road NW, Edmonton, Alberta and will be open both Christmas and Boxing Day. All major credit cards accepted.

Image (altered): Some Rights Reserved by Roadsidepictures flickr photostream, The Sage nor his article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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