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Details Emerge on Sony Pictures Malware Attack

Kim Jong-un Rejected by Rogen and Goldberg


(SNN) – Recent allegations that North Korea launched a cyber-attack on Sony Pictures as a result of the scheduled Christmas release of “The Interview”, starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, has gone from scandal to strange.

In an early critical response in June, Executive Director of CFKAP (Center for Korean-American Peace), Kim Myong-chol, criticized the film about North Korea's leader Kim Jong-un by stating, “Let us not forget who killed Kennedy – Americans. In fact, President Obama should be careful in case the US military wants to kill him as well." From this strange threat in June, it soon elevated to a cyber-attack that is being attributed to North Korea, saw Sony Pictures' computers hacked, and copies of recent movies, including “Fury”, released to the public.

A source close to “The Interview” producers, Rogen and Evan Goldberg, stated that the only reason North Korea is angry has nothing to do with the assassination plot-line. “Kim Jong-un actually tried out for the part of Kim Jong-un,” stated The Sage source, “He just didn't make the cut.”

It has been learned that Jong-un's rejection by the producers enraged the tiny despot. “He started screaming, then ran off the stage, tripped on a lighting cable, and sprained his left ankle,” advised the source.

According to the producers, Jong-un just did not have the chops to play himself. “He is completely wrong for the part,” came the response. “He is too short, staid, has the personality of a cardboard box, and refused any suggestions for improvement.” One suggestion was to change his hairstyle from the mop top to a jerry curl.


Official Trailer for "The Interview"

“It makes sense,” came the word from a Canadian political analyst, Perry Saik. “Jong-un disappeared for months early last year; and when he emerged, he was walking with a limp.” According to Saik, they kept his visit to Vancouver, Canada hush hush, fearing a knuckle wrap from the White House.

The motion picture “The Interview” is a comedy about two reporters assigned to assassinate the North Korean leader.


Image: Some Rights Reserved; EPA/RODONG SINMUN SOUTH KOREA OUT HANDOUT EDITORIAL USE ONLY. Fair Use 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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