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Harper to Retire After Walk in the Snow

"It's the Right Time"

(SNN) - Stephen Harper has decided it was time to put new tires on the Prime Minister's family vehicle, a 2009 Kia Rio. He said that, as the responsible leader of a northern nation, it was critical for him to show leadership in replacing his rubber when needed.

"We get driven around a lot in government limos, so the tires on the Rio haven't seen that much wear," explained Harper in a rare interview. "I might even be able to sell them for a few bucks as there's a few millimetres left on the wear indicator."

The decision to retire was a difficult one and is supported by most of his "friends" and a smattering of people who claim to be loved ones. Harper claimed he reached the decision after a walk in the snow when his worn all seasons had failed to negotiate a turn and left him stuck in the ditch.

One journalist did ask about Mr. Harper's own retirement plans, which immediately put an end to the press conference. It has been reported that when Jason Kenney heard the details of Harper's 'retirement', he wept.

Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Dave S  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

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