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Putin Arrested: Faces Four Counts of Shoplifting. [VIDEO]

Svelt Streak Lingerie closed for business.

(SNN) – Vladimir Putin, the leader of Russia and former KGB hardliner, was arrested Saturday inside a Svelt Streak Lingerie store in Moscow and charged with four counts of shoplifting.

According to Commissaire Ivan Guyovich from the Moscow Politsiya, Putin was observed for over two hours browsing the store lingerie section going in and out of the change rooms. “The staff got suspicious when Mr. Putin would come out without the garments he took with him,” stated Guyovich. According to sources close to The Sage, the police were called before Putin left the store. “We stopped and identified Mr. Putin just outside the store,” advised Guyovich. “We found him wearing and concealing several pieces of property owned by Svelt Streak Lingerie.

The Arrest and Processing of Vladimir Putin. Russian Leader for Life.

It was reported that Putin was wearing two bras, a stay, and four g-strings at the time of his arrest. In addition to the clothing, Putin had concealed one “Amazinight Lover” vibrating dildo. According to the Politsiya, the “lover” was found only after a cavity search.

Putin was immediately sent to trial, and was later released from custody without disposition. Since his arrest the Svelt Streak Lingerie store was closed for business.

Image: Capture from 'official' news feed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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