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UN: Scientists Propose Radical Solution to Climate Change

Plan Calls for Controlled Nuclear Detonations

(SNN) – In what is being called a radical solution to the recent drastic climate events being experienced globally over the past few years, scientists sitting on a United Nations panel of climate change have come up with the answer. The plan calls for actions that will shift the Earth's axis by .32 of a degree.

Change of the orbital plane will correct the effects of global warming

According to a group of scientists lead by a braintrust from Buffalo, New York, shifting the axis by .32 of a degree is not only feasible, but required to save the planet from the effects of carbon build-up by the Alberta Tar-Sands and California Big Oil operations. “The conclusions are irrefutable,” stated Dr. B.J. Knightly, chairman of the climate panel. “The Kyoto Accord is not being honored by criminal nations, and carbon reduction targets will never be met.”  Knightly added, “Our plan is the only hope to stave off the deadly effects of global warming.”

The report released from B.J.'s team is simple. A series of only ten nuclear explosions with the destructive power of 5000 kilotons of TNT on 33N degree longitude locations will tilt the Earth enough to alter the temperatures in the Gulf Stream. “We calculate the temperature change of the ocean caused by our action will correct the global trends reversing the weather patterns back to over 100 years."

The report, which goes on the agenda for a vote, calls for detonations on dense land masses. “It is important that these nuclear explosions do not occur over any ocean,” stated Knightly. “Currently, the only locations feasible are along the 33rd North longitude northeast of the African continent.”

The United States was quick to offer support for the plan.

“The fall-out will be considerable,” stated Knightly. “There is no other way.” The debates over the plan saw violent opposition by right-wing climate change deniers. But the panel added, “Our planet needs to survive mankind.”    

Image: Operation_Crossroads_Baker_(wide).jpgUnited States Department of Defense  - Public Domain

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