news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Expert: Jesus Image on Chicken Nugget Actually Lenin

Photo: One can see many things in a nugget

(SNN) A man who had a deeply religious experience when a deep-fried chicken "nugget" appeared to have a picture of Jesus on it, is outraged a food imaging expert has declared the image more closely resembles Vladimir Lenin, the architect of the communization of Russia.

George "Henny" Henderson, a fowl plucker at Dickens Chickens, encountered the nugget that came from a bag of factory seconds in their staff lunch room. 

"It was the most profound and fundamentally moving experience of my life," claimed Henderson in an interview. "That is why I was asking ten grand for it on eBay. Then I get a letter from some jerk-faced nugget picture guru who says it's one of the Beatles. I think they're just trying to drive the price down so they can buy it on the cheap through a third party."

The food imaging expert, Dr. Dee Piction, Professor of Edible Images at the Westboro Baptist University of Alabama, says there is no doubt the image is not the Son of God but of the Russian ruler.

Using a food image spectrometer, developed by Piction, the results certainly appeared to favor Lenin. The device uses face recognition software from the NSA, to measure on a molecular level, the number of "match points" for each image. Lenin scored 147 on the test with Jesus lagging behind at 104.

"Part of the problem, of course, is that we don't actually know what Jesus really looked like anyway," pointed out Professor Piction. "It is pretty much impossible that he looked Caucasian with long flowing locks, as He is often pictured."

Altered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Ludovic Bertron  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Chris McKerracher



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^