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Mulcair Demands His Own Security Closet

Photo: Closeted Thinking


(SNN) - The Leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition (well, fairly loyal apart from that whole French citizenship thing) Thomas Mulcair, is demanding to get heightened security for himself and his family. Mulcair said he will not be satisfied until he, his wife and the better behaved of his children have their own 'hiding closet' to be used in case of armed attack.

The closet concept was borne out of Stephen Harper's response to the Parliament attack when our Prime Minister snuck inside a closet unbeknownst to his fellow caucus members. He was discovered when they heard him knocking only to learn it was the PM's knees.

"The most embarrassing action I have ever taken in my life was coming out of the closet," claimed Harper.

It wasn't reported widely what defensive postures the other leaders assumed, but there are whispers; there was crying involved, as well as one incident of involuntary pants soiling.

"If a closet is available to the Prime Minister, by gum there should be one available to us," thundered "Angry Tom" as he is known in media circles as well as at bingo. "These bad people know my name too, you know. They should; I've sent them all letters asking for donations while promising not to go to war against them as a party. We are pacifists, after all."

Altered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Joe Cressy flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

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