news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Limp Kim Explained: He's Getting Shin Extensions

Photo: Stamp this missing dictator report: SOLVED


(SNN) - Recently, the foreign wires have been rife with reports regarding North Korea’s diminutive dictator, Kim Jong-un, appearing to be lame, or at least, lamer than he already was. Some sources claim Kim had surgery on both ankles for an as yet unexplained reason, while others point at gout from his lavish lifestyle as being to blame. New information attributed to anonymous high ranking Chinese sources are now saying Kim has had prosthetics installed in his lower legs that will make him almost 5’ 7” and a half.

“It is no secret that Kim is ashamed of his stature which is why he has classic “little man” syndrome,” said University of California (Fresno) political-psychologist Dr. I. Bill Ouerleigh. “He may feel, with his new found height, he will command a room like he always dreamed of; walking brave and tall amongst the tallest. There might even be an NBA contract in it for him in his mind. I realize it’s a lot to ask for 5’ 7” and a half; a ‘tall order’ you might say if you were a little passive aggressive.”

Head of Appendage Services at the Nayo Clinic’s Limb Branch, Dr. Herman Sternum, says the surgery is painful, risky, and can be spread out over a number of easy-to-manage monthly payments.

“I wouldn’t call it a rare procedure,” said Dr. Sternum in a phone interview. “Perhaps, ‘occasional’ or ‘once in a blue moon’.  It isn’t that much different, really, than having a boob job, though, is it? We wouldn’t want anyone to think we do this procedure at the drop of the hat. It takes just the right candidates with the right insecurities and size of bank account. Only then can it be successful.”


Unaltered PhotoSome Rights Reserved by Mike Licht flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here
 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
More from Chris McKerracher

 

Recent

Most Viewed

Promote Your Business


Social Activity



Top ^