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N Korea Blows Lid Off Rampant Poverty In US

(SNN) - A stunning video released to the international community by North Korean sources close to Kim Jong-un, reveals the truth about the horrendous poverty that virtually all Americans live in.  The video is filled with ghastly images of emaciated Americans being forced to eat snow and live in tents. The misery of the people is evident as their sunken eyes silently plead for a reason to hope.

“We knew that the US was facing tremendous difficulty recently but had no idea it had gotten this bad,” admitted a high level British government official off the record. “Thank heavens we have the North Koreans to let us know the truth about what is happening. The good people of the United States are far too proud to tell us themselves. They’re the first ones there, anywhere in the world that needs help, but would likely refuse aid even if offered. Not that we would, of course. We all have our priorities, don't we?”

According to a member of the French Foreign Service, who cannot be identified due to unsightly facial blemishes, the video was no surprise. The diplomatic official who uses the pseudonym Attache Geshundheit on FranceBook, said in a communiqué there had been whispers about the horrific conditions in the bastion of worldwide democracy and that it is time to help America get back on their feet.

“Seeing this much misery makes me so sick to my stomach, I can barely eat my bouillabaisse and  Chateau Briand,” claimed Geshundheit. “We must rally to help these poor, starving impoverished people. Well, not France specifically, but I mean ‘us’ as in the world community.”

There has not been a comment given on the video by the Whitehouse as yet but it is likely, according to informed sources, their media will keep up the pretense of affluence for the rest of the world. Pundits are suggesting the US borders may soon be all but closed to outbound traffic as the administration tries to keep a lid on the societal damage.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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