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"Impractical Joke" Pioneer In Hospital

Photo: The inventor's latest creation

(SNN) - Dr. Helmut Joy-Buzzard of the University of Death Valley, who is a pioneer in the field of impractical jokes, has been hospitalized as the result of an attempted suicide. Apparently, Joy-Buzzard was depressed and emotional over the lack of success with the latest impractical joke he had devised. The gag involved having a blindfolded joke victim pull up on handles on a platform which actuates a paddle causing it to strike the victim's buttocks.

Joy-Buzzard was so excited about the marketing possibilities he went on the entrepreneurial reality show "Shark Bank”. Unfortunately, it was an embarrassing debacle for Joy-Buzzard. The problem with the gag, as pointed out by the "sharks", would be in convincing someone to put on a blindfold and bend over, given people’s trust level nowadays.

“We see that level of distrust in business all the time,” confided one “shark”.

Following Joy-Buzzard’s unsuccessful attempt to interest any financiers in his machine, apparently, he sought to end his life.

Luckily for him, however, Joy-Buzzard had tried to kill himself by overdosing on marijuana. According to the spokesman for the hospital, the only Ill affects appeared to have been a sore throat, a bad thirst and a wicked case of the munchies. This OD attempt, however, was following an incident where Joy-Buzzard had thrown himself off the lowest building in town and seriously twisted his ankle. He is now being monitored as carefully as budgets allow.

"It seems Mr. Joy-Buzzard was not very pragmatic in his approach to self-destruction," chuckled Dr. Ian Sensitive of the Death Valley Hospital for Impractical Sciences. “However, we realize the gravity of his personal situation and have him under suicide watch almost 8 hours a day, other than coffee breaks and lunch.”

Altered PhotoSome Rights Reserved by Arallyn!  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

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