news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Pastafarian Militants Clash with Riceronian Forces

Photo: Artist Rendition of Flying Spaghetti Monster Deity


(SNN) - A group of Pastafarian insurgents, seeking to force their beliefs onto the smaller, whiter Riceronian minority have been repelled in their latest thrust. The deep-seated, sectarian hatred between the two warring groups dates back to last Friday.

“After this long with being at war with the Riceronians, I foresee little change in relations for generations to come,” said one Pastafarian platoon commander, Col Linguini Vermicelli . “Too much sauce has been spilled on both sides to go back to our previously peaceful, though starchy, relations. The Riceronians must see that only by embracing the Flying Spaghetti Monster will they find true enlightenment and a comfortable, satisfied feeling inside that doesn’t dissipate in a half an hour.”

The Riceronian Independence Movement, in their trademark “paddy wagons”, are not nearly as famous as the colander-helmeted legions of the Pastafarians.  Although smaller in number than their airborne noodle-worshiping adversaries, the Riceronians were steadfast in their resolve to repel the shadowy “Meatball Militia”.

Pastafarianism's spiritual leader, Pope Bobby, has categorically renounced the break-away Pastafarian insurgents saying they do not represent true Pastafarian beliefs. He said everyone should just “chill out” and suggested talks on neutral ground, such as the Sandwich Islands.


Unaltered Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Windell Oskay flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
More from Chris McKerracher

 

Recent

Most Viewed

Promote Your Business


Social Activity



Top ^